Ballroom

All my life I've had a fondness for ballroom dancing. There's something in that particular form of dance that seems to call to me. Perhaps the fascination with ballroom comes from the fact that you can't do it on your own. You can perform the steps, but you're not actually dancing ballroom until you have a partner. As a little girl I would imagine waltzing the night away (which in my mind was more akin to whirling) in perfect bliss. But I've since come to learn that ballroom dancing can be anything but blissful. Especially if your partner is tripping over his feet, your feet, and the extra left foot. However, I'm quite pleased to be able to say that despite the reality of ballroom dancing, it's still maintain a certain allure.

In August there were about two weeks when I suddenly found myself obsessing about ballroom. I had to find every ballroom movie I knew and re-watch it. I would occasionally waltz down our tiny hallway and there was often latin music playing in the kitchen. Finally the thought occurred to me, Why not do something about the obsession and take a class with City College? Aw, that's just too easy. The question ought to be, Jen, why are you such an idiot that you didn't think to do this before now? I'm a little slow on the uptake sometimes.

Short story even shorter: I am now and have been taking ballroom classes on Mondays. Even though I had taken classes about 5 years ago, I didn't feel confident enough to jump into an intermediate class, so I'm taking beginners. The first two classes were positively painful. The third one and todays were much better because we've finally stopped going over what closed position is and are dancing! (In case you're curious, we're focusing on American tango and Chachacha.)

Tonight I was struck by how well dancing with a partner brings out the important points in what a marriage ought to be. Each partner has their role to fulfill, they each have responsibility in seeing that the dance is performed. One is a leader and one is a follower. The follower must trust the leader; if not then you have have two individuals dancing, though not with each other. Clear communication is key, otherwise everything falls to pieces and each has a miserable time of it. The leader is not the boss, but rather proposes a step and the follower may either accept or object. Each partner must be sensitive to the other's needs. The leader shouldn't carelessly whip the follower around and the follower doesn't demand that the leader does one thing or another. I could go on, but at the core of it there are two people working together and communicating wordlessly to create something aesthetically lovely, enjoyable, and fun! Not to mention good exercise, as well.

Jane Austen also saw the similarities in marriage and dancing:

"...I consider a country-dance as an emblem of marriage.
Fidelity and complaisance are the principal duties of both;
and those men who do not choose to dance or marry themselves,
have no business with the partners or wives of their neighbours."

"But they are such very different things!"

"--That you think they cannot be compared together."

"To be sure not. People that marry can never part,
but must go and keep house together. People that dance
only stand opposite each other in a long room for half
an hour."

"And such is your definition of matrimony and dancing.
Taken in that light certainly, their resemblance is
not striking; but I think I could place them in such a view.
You will allow, that in both, man has the advantage
of choice, woman only the power of refusal; that in both,
it is an engagement between man and woman, formed for
the advantage of each; and that when once entered into,
they belong exclusively to each other till the moment
of its dissolution; that it is their duty, each to
endeavour to give the other no cause for wishing that he
or she had bestowed themselves elsewhere, and their best
interest to keep their own imaginations from wandering
towards the perfections of their neighbours, or fancying
that they should have been better off with anyone else.
You will allow all this?"

"Yes, to be sure, as you state it, all this sounds
very well; but still they are so very different.
I cannot look upon them at all in the same light,
nor think the same duties belong to them."

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Good ballroom movies are everywhere! Check 'em out. (there are also weird ones, not so great ones, etc. Don't check them out.)

Take the Lead

Shall We Dance (love this one!)

Shall We Dance

There's also a Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers version of Shall We Dance, but that's less ballroom focused.